Dressing for the Buffet

I have an odd relationship with Chinese buffets. In college, my best friends from the dorms and I had a tradition of all getting together at the local Chinese buffet to talk about our lives and stuff our faces with egg rolls and crab rangoon. I would also frequent the location for special occasions (hangovers) or when I had a craving for everything drenched in grease (hangovers).

You can imagine my sheer joy and excitement when I learned from my old coworker Jack that they were opening a Chinese buffet in LA right by his apartment. I. was. stoked. I haven't been there in a few months, and last week I got the craving for it big time. I made plans with Jack, and today is the big day that I return.

Now I don't encourage buffet eating for everyone. If you are going to be indecisive and talk about calories, don't come. And if you go, don't linger in front of the orange chicken, it's super annoying that I have to wait for you to decide how big of a portion you're going to get when I only know one portion size: heaping. I'm there to do one thing, and one thing only. Stuff my face and leave reeking of the feast I just enjoyed.

Perfect Chinese buffet outfit options:

This outfit is great because of the layering. By the end of the hot buffet, you'll be down to a tank and jeans, trust me.

This outfit is essentially a plaid tent. Could it be any more perfect for a buffet meal? No.

You know when you get home from the buffet you are going straight to bed feeling horrible about yourself. Save yourself some uncomfortable jean removal time, and just go to the buffet in your pajamas.
"Pajama chic" This makes you look a little less crazy, but still very comfortable. And you won't be sweating your way through the 5th and 6th courses.

"Who's that weirdo not wearing pants at a buffet? We better let her go in line before us." ...Need I say more?

Happy Buffet Eating, bitches.

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