Gather round, kiddies. Today's lessons are based on what to do when entering adulthood. You may be thinking to yourself, but Megan, you are the least adulty person I know. You rarely do laundry. You own one towel. You don't know what taxes are or why people feel the need to pay them. But you would be wrong, loyal followers. I am an adult! And do you want to know why? 4 letters. HGTV.
Some people enjoy waking up to the smell of bacon. Others- a nice easy listening channel on the radio. But I wake up to HGTV. Every. Damn. Morning. And why does this make me an adult? Because I know what staging a house is. I know how to get a house sold by rearranging a few pieces of furniture and adding a strategic light fixture. I know what the going rate for homes in Belize runs. This is real life people.
So where am I going with this? My apartment, that I share with my dear friend and loyal confidant, Jules, is a frat house. I'm going to list our 4 pieces of furniture. Couch. Beer Pong Table. Bar stools. Big screen TV (for football games). THE END. Rugs? Nope. Bookshelves? Please. Wall decorations? Hahahahha. Don't be ridiculous.
As a regular morning viewer of HGTV, I dream of staging the perfect living room for hosting the soirees that don't involve flip cup and beer bongs. In my mind, I'm sitting there drinking a martini and speaking in a British accent. But none of this can be possible without FURNITURE. Today, is the day. Jules, myself and my SUV that is inappropriate for any driving in LA except when it comes to hauling furniture, are going to decorate our apartment. One trip to Glendazzle, CA (my new name for Glendale), and I'll be sipping cocktails with the Brits in no time.
See below for instructions on how to decorate your own frat house and become a real life adult in 4 easy steps:
1. Get a rug. It covers dirt on hardwood floors and probably serves some other purpose. These are the colors we want our living room to be. And this is a shag rug (Jules LOVES a good shag rug). Only problem is we we will never, ever be able to find this. Eh, technicalities.
2. Bookshelves. Bookshelves make you look smart. And bookshelves with books are a necessity when you are trying to impress out-of-town visitors. Bonus points if somewhere on the shelves is the entire Goosebumps series.
3. City skyline pictures. They class up any apartment and at the same time make you look like a worldy traveler. Even though, who are you kidding, you've never been to Paris. And probably won't ever make enough money to get there. (Oh, maybe that's just me.)
4. Last but not least, lamps. The more lamps you have, the better the apartment will look. That's not true, but Jules made our apartment a lamp factory with all the lamps she brought from her old place, so we are just going to have to make it work.