My Wednesday post is going to be my feminist, man-repelling guide to dating. So ladies, listen closely. And gentlemen... who are we kidding, men don't read this blog.
Ok so we've all been there. It's a Friday night. Date night. You are in a steady relationship. You get all dolled up, put on your trendiest high-waisted shorts with a tucked in button up (buttoned ALL the way up) and your hair is balled up in a bun on your head. You throw on some bright red lipstick to top it all off. You feel HOT. You walk out of the bathroom, and there is your boyfriend. He says to you, "Whoa. What are you wearing?" OR "Wait, are you really wearing that out?"
At this point you can do one of three things: you can let it personally get to you and change into a body-con Herve Leger imitation dress that will have him drooling but make you feel like a 2 cent whore. OR you can say "Are you really wearing that hideous/boring polo out in public?" And just fight the whole night. OR (my favorite choice) dump him then and there. Because honestly, you may love him, he could be a great guy, you could picture having his babies. But if he doesn't understand your style, it is NEVER going to work out. Period.
This might be coming from personal experience (who are we kidding, that exact situation happened), but honestly if a guy doesn't get that you have amazing style, he is not worth being around. Now for all of my ladies who aren't stuck in a relationship, there is a foolproof way to make sure the man is dateworthy upfront. It's called: Wear-your-most-Manrepeller-esque-outfit-out-for-your-first-date-to-see-if-it-repels-or-if-he-still-likes-you-under-your-tent-dress-and-leopard-print-bedazzled-loafers foolproof plan. (I'm working on that title).
Below are examples of my idea of the perfect date looks (and why):
This outfit is sexy enough since your legs are showing, but there are NO curves that are being accentuated. This is key. The boxier the better.
Is there a person under all those layers? If he doesn't think you're the crypt keeper, he might be impressed that you are hitting all of the fall trends. Although if he asks, "OMG is that (Insert Designer Name Here)??" He's gay. Feel free to keep seeing him, but be realistic that sex will not be involved.
Does he have an aversion to bright colors? Buh-bye.
Definitely bring out the animal prints early on. He needs to know that cheetah is an integral part of your wardrobe. And therefore will be a big part of his life.
Bun, bun, bun that hair. If he only likes you with your flowy locks fully cleaned and blown out, he is not the one for you. I once had an ex ask if I ever wore my hair in anything but a bun. Nope. See ya.
And last but not least, The baggier the better. Leaves more to the imagination as my mother would say.
Good luck out there ladies.
(Disclaimer: Megan is still single and living in Los Angeles.)